measuring

today my girls recieved their school reports.

today i spent some time with a friend.

my girls and i went through each section of the report talking about what the teacher was getting at, whether they felt it was fair, what had contributed to that mark....

my friend and i spoke about her anguish about how her life is working out, how she feels she has worked hard, done as much as she could to make things happen the way she wants them to.

and her utter dismay about how that is not working.

all our lives we are taught to measure up.

Measure up is a term that makes me stand straighter and suck in my stomach, like i am about to undergo room inspection in the army or hanky inspection at kindergarten.

A bar is set and we strive for it.

If things don't work we work harder.

If things aren't measuring up we push ourselves more.

If I don't measure up to expectations - my own and other's I am more and more hard on myself.

I am all for the reward in having to reach past our percieved boundaries.

But this constant measuring,

this constant need to gain more,

achieve more,

is killing us.

The only way i really "measure up" is when i take time to soften,

to listen to the tiny whisper inside me that tells me what i truely want.

And there is no measuring in this - only allowing and opening...

I am making a concious effort to get away from all yard sticks and listen instead, to whispers

will you join me?