Wednesday, March 30, 2011

magic shoes

we ran a competition at our local school fundraiser to repurpose unwanted shoes

Eila had some old hideous boots she had bought from the previous garage sale (they were surely from a prostitutes' collective throw out) and she decided to refashion them into a horse scene (what else)

the judge (she won btw!!!) said she expected to see Eila as a shoe designer on Sex and the City one day...

she is so proud of them!

i love the idea of making something beautiful out of unwanted goods....and these are certainly magical

Thursday, March 24, 2011

she claimed it for me

this is the proclaimer

This happened about 10 minutes ago....

Scene: Mother painting in workshop, room next door Ms 8 and her friend from next door are beginning to prepare sushi (cunning plan of mother's to get said daughter to eat veges)

boy8 "why don't you get your Mum to chop that?"

(cue alarmed look on mother's face as she imagines all hellish kind of accidents with a knife, collects self and, trying to remain calm, she recommences painting)

girl8 "Because she is working"

boy8 "What, painting?"

girl8 "Yes that is her work. She is an artist"

(cue Mother's eyes filling with tears and whatever kind of string music and choir you care to insert)

and scene

A quote by Anais Nin

From 'A Spy in the House of Love'

"The feelings which flow through her and which carry her along are of love, protection, devotion. These feelings create a powerful current on which she floats. Because of their strength they have engulfed all her doubts...."

And sometimes in my case the strengtH of the feelings disintergrate....

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

haiku for hard stuff

finding the right words
like catching snow in a hot pan
see them melt away

Sunday, March 20, 2011

trying out a poem on you

This is a poem i have been playing with for anzac day - for my north american friends, Anzac day is the day we commemorate the New Zealand and Australian troops who died in the wars we have participated in - Anzac biscuits were chewy oaty peices of goodness made for their longevity in World War 1.

The first part of the poem (before the letter) is supposed to be crossed out but i can't make that work here so please see lines through it all...

The Anzac biscuits.

The day they arrived was the day the cracks in my feet began to weep.
The smell of rot broke through the smell of the mud
And the munitions,
And the blood.

Holding the package in my hand
was like unwrapping a treasure from ancient Egypt.
They were from a time and place so far from me.
A time hard to believe in.

I wanted to be careful,
To savour the moment,
To listen to the whispers of your hands
that had held this paper.
Tied this string.
Written the address.
The hands I long to be touched by,
Soothed by,
Magically healed of all this horror
and desperation
and misery by.

But I was hungry
So very very hungry.
With the eyes of all the blokes on me,
shouting silently “Get a bloody move on.”
I tore it open.

And they were gone.
Those golden, chewy pieces of home.
In a shower of crumbs and desperation,
They were gone.

And now I realise, they smelt like paddocks of fresians,
Like pipis on a beach fire,
Like fantail flicking in the tea tree,
Like fresh warm cream on porridge,
Like the inside of the Four Square,
Like coming in at 5 and smelling dinner on the table as I walk up the path, past the freesias and the roses.

But they are gone.
Like so many of us from God’s own country in this Godforsaken place,


Don’t send them.

My Bunk
Dear Glor,

All quiet at the moment so I can write you a quick note.

Oh love the biscuits were beaut. The boys and I loved them. Glad to see your cooking is still up to scratch. We will be so fit when we come back that you will be baking lots next rugby season.

Give the kids a kiss from me and tell the girls to stop growing so fast.

Lots of love

Friday, March 18, 2011


Making all the choice
making hard choices
being able to make no choices

Doing everything for them
doing hard things for them
being able to do nothing for them

Feeling everything for them
Feeling everything for them
feeling everything for them

Thursday, March 17, 2011

advice from my Japanese friend

This is from my beloved friend Reisae a Japanese American woman, gifted healer, exquisite cook, lover of life... Please feel free to share Reisae's generous gift of information - her Mom came to the US as a bride to a US serviceman involved in the cleanup after the nuclear bombs were dropped.

Hope all is well. Just wanted to share some info. I have known about this information for several years and in light of the nuclear challenge in Japan I want to spread the info. Please share this with everyone you know. I am not an alarmist, however I wanted to encourage all of you to have a bowl of Miso Soup with sea veggies (Wakame, Hijiki, Kombu, Dulse, ) EVERY day. Personally, I prefer Wakame. Given the catastrophic nuclear situation in Japan currently, an ounce of prevention is worth . . .

After the Atomic Bomb was dropped in Hiroshimi/Nagasaki on August 9, 1945 the radioactive fall-out killed and devastated the health of thousands of Japanese. However, it was discovered by
Dr. Shinichiro Akizuki working at ground zero in Nagasaki, that a daily serving of Miso Soup and Sea Veggies prevented radiation sickness, poisoning, and the potential of cancers presenting. Miso protects the body from radiation by binding and discharging radioactive elements. The natural iodines in seaweeds can reduce by almost 80% the radioactive elements of exposure.

There is a ton of info. on the internet to validate this info. Encourage you to research for yourself and then go make yourself a wonderful bowl of Miso Soup and Wakame!

Miso Soup & Wakame Recipe
1 Serving

16 oz. Water
1 Heaping TBSP Dried Wakame
3 Heaping TBSP Miso (the more aged the better)

Place water in small pan and add Wakame. Let set for 10 minutes to allow Wakame to hydrate. Bring water to slight simmer. Remove from heat and add Miso. DO NOT boil Miso, it kills the fermentation/enzymes. Garnish with scallions and enjoy the healing!

With love,

P.S. My Mom was finally able to speak with her brother in Japan and he indicated that he and his family are surviving. As reported food, water, shelter, and the nuclear power plants are of grave concern. He and his family are not in an evacuation area but as the nuclear situation evolves they may need to leave their village. He endured the war with my mother as children and he says that this event is as equally traumatic and frightening. Please pray for all of our brothers and sisters in Japan.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


if nothing else i can see how important it is to not be distracted by pointless shit

if nothing else i can see how important it is to live the life you want now

if nothing else i can see how important it is to say i love you, to stop the woman in the supermarket who has good hair and tell her, to smile at a stranger, to wear the clothes that you love

if nothing else i can see how you need to listen to the whispers of your heart - not put them off or pretend they are not there

because without warning you may not be there at all

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

learning my compass

i have been having a busy time lately

immersed in a course of action i committed to some time ago

some buoyant, self assured, courageous time ago - a time when being so full of creative fire meant i thought i could step back out into the world of people and their politics - small scale, manageable, able to be injected with some of that creative fire and grow...

as i mentioned in my last post i then made an enemy during my work and i have allowed that to unravel all of that adjectives above

i see, from some far off part of me that i am responsible for my feelings - i can choose whether i respond with fear and self loathing, or whether i examine the criticism and feelings i have aroused in another and find our where the truth lies for myself and remain loving towards all concerned.

I wish i was closer to Buddha-hood than i am because even writing the last part of the sentence made me feel more grounded

but here i am at waking again with bad thoughts at 4:15 am

feeling uptight
lacking confidence

i have been doing my best to check my compass,reorient myself to the love and often failing but i need lots of practise at that ....

i have been aware when learning the way my own true north is, that this is a clear signal not to lay myself onto the path of that particular locomotive again

the world of busy-ness and personal politics is not where my soul lives

it is in creating and listening to the whispers of the divine - i know that now...

i was reflecting on that and using it as a marker - a way to find myself out of this morose patch when i read this in the daily love

"I know it is hard to accept, but an upset in your life is beneficial, in that it tells you that you are off course in some way and you need to find your way back to your particular path of clarity once again."

- Susan Jeffers, best-selling author.

roll on sunday (most of the work will be over then)
roll on clarity

Thursday, March 3, 2011

making enemies and the warfare of love

i have inadvertantly made an enemy.

i do try, in my people pleasing way, to make people like me.

i like to be a good person.

i see good in situations.

when i am filled up, by my creativity and my spiritual connection and the beauty of simple things i am strong enough to see my faults and my foibles and be generous with myself and others about these things... generally, all of them wounds.

and recognise that love is the way to meet them.

but i stuck my head above the parapet
i am getting the hot oil treatment

and to continue the medieval warfare metaphor
i am tempted to grab my trebuchet and hurl big rocks back

i am scared
i am hurting

but the bigger part of me - the God/Goddess part of me - quietly reminds me that love is the way to meet them

it is harder to hear these whispers right now - i am in a period of business - trying to do good (and the process is how i got my self into the fightyfight in the first place)

i am not making time to create
or to listen to the voice of God

so it is easier to hear the voice of the combative,defensive,scared little girl inside me

but i am reminded to soothe her with loving words, make her feel safe

get her to put the trebuchet down

to walk away from the war and towards the life that makes my heart sing

to walk away from the feelings that make me crabby and a bitchy Mum (how can i take out my frustration on the people who love me??)

i am reminded to create, to not be out in the world in a way that is motivated by wanting to be see to be good, enough...

and to be authentically in the space that says "this is what you are here for"

and to once again, choose love - self love,love for my family, love for the beauty in the world, love for the injuries others have recieved.

not to be tangled and sodden with the bitterness and fear

but to constantly refocus on the love

and i will be where i need to be.