Saturday, August 20, 2011

SOMETIMES I


sometimes i feel invincible, bullet proof, made of divinity
and sometimes i feel tiny and crushed and invisible like a shell that has been tumbled against the rocks and all that is left is fragments of me amoungst the sand... unnoticable undifferentiated unknowable.

sometimes i feel joyful and skip in the supermarket and smile full beam at strangers who look grey
and sometimes i see myself as a grey stranger in the mirror

sometimes i feel capable, confident and full of the wisdom that is older than me
and sometimes i just don't know what to do next.

sometimes i make things that flow through me, beauty reveals itself on the paper, the canvas the surface that makes me suck my breath in
and sometimes i make things that are shallow and empty.

sometimes i can find great depths of kindness and connection, love unfettered comes through me and to another's heart - i can feel it hit its' mark
and sometimes i just shut off like a wall.

sometimes the path is clear and i can stride on with my light shining
and sometimes it is so dark and i stumble around banging into the walls and falling on my face.

sometimes i feel the beauty of the world all around me flowing into me and the intricacy of a blade of grass fills me like a breath of light and i feel so blessed
and sometimes the world and its' meannesses are so abrasive that my bleeding spirit looks so ugly to me that i hide

and sometimes i just am.

7 comments:

  1. At all times
    I send you love <3

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  2. And in between the sometimes, I love you always.

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  3. Sounds pretty durn human to me!!!

    XOXOXO

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  4. What a beautiful, heart-opening poem! I love how you offer grace here, through your own vulnerability - through your wide-open, courageous heart!! Thanks so much

    I have been thinking of you A LOT -- been reading a very silly mystery book (lame reading, but relaxing) and the heroine visits New Zealand. Ohmyword! the mystery writer's descriptions of the people and places of NZ, and your pictures here - plus some of the things I picked up from your FB updates - all conspiring to cause me to fall in love with your country!!

    And the unfolding fern thingy (yeah, I can't remember the horticultural name right now - need some coffee, having trouble remembering my OWN name- lol) - that you have pictured above features prominently in the book! wild!

    sending a HUGE hug!!!

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  5. Sometimes I know what to put in the comment box.
    And at other times, my words feel all spent.
    ;o)

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  6. I came here from Karen's Square Peg blog. As she says, your poem is like a benediction. :)

    "sometimes i can find great depths of kindness and connection, love unfettered comes through me and to another's heart - i can feel it hit its' mark
    and sometimes i just shut off like a wall."

    I could really connect with that. It is so good to know one is not alone...

    Dagny

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