abc creativity and closing the circle

Andrea with me in my creative space!



As i relistened i doodled on the page, writing down the words, drawing pictures of the things that seemed significant to me


the almost finished project (i put a purple circle around us later) me and my scared self - in the light and being kind to each other....


Today i want to talk about a being of light - Andrea of abc creativity -
I met her through the awesome SARK forum where she is a moderator and all round generous soul.

Last year Andrea quit her employment to live her dream and deliver her goodness to the world. When I read about what she is doing on her blog I feel like she is beaming so much light into the world that she is one of the things I think about when I need balance….

And she was kind enough to ask me to guinea pig with her for some of the work she is developing…

Via Skype, Andrea lead me through a fantastic visualisation and then offered me the chance to work with and embed the revelations from the visualisation with journaling exercises…

With Andrea, I met a part of me that is scared to live my dreams – drab little thing that she was. I realised how much she was present for me when I get triggered, feel judged, find the world out of step with me…. She allowed me to see that when I judge her and feel ashamed of her, push her away she is diminished and less and less able to breathe and more triggered next time.

All she asked for was acceptance – that she just needed soothing – talking to kindly, being noticed and she promised she would walk with me even though she was scared…

She is a dimension of vulnerability – admitting that I feel vulnerable when I am putting myself out there is staying true to myself – the very essence of living my truth.

And when Andrea offered me the compliment on my openness - I was being honoured for something that I had often seen as a fault…. then I felt like the circle was complete.

destruction

I think Kali is working by my side right now....

Gently blowing her breath of change into my life

This painting (not yet finished) has been the evidence of a huge shift.

She was the second portrait that i started from my course with Connie Hozvicka of DirtyFootprints Studio. I was working with all the tips for making things look realistic... the colours the placement of the eyes....

and then i looked at her neck and saw that it looked like a tree... and then something compelled me to make the roots, the leaves...

the sensible voice in my head was saying "this is going to ruin it" "That is just making it ugly"

but something else - i like to think courage - kept my hand moving - making flesh coloured leaves, fleshy coloured tendril roots...

I kept thinking about the concept of Homoempathicus... and how this painting seems to speak of my sense of our connection to nature - of plants as living sentient creatures, of our need for interconnectedness to the planets beings of all kinds....

i felt alive

i felt excited

and then yesterday i went to see "Eat, Pray, Love". I was touched by many parts of it - but the part that dropped into my belly like a stone was when Elizabeth Gilbert was sitting in the catacombs under Rome and realised how the life of this ancient structure was guaranteed by the ruin it had undergone. That ruin had lead to it being reinvented as other things

Ruin is the way to transformation.

RUIN IS THE WAY TO TRANSFORMATION.

this seems unutterably HUGE to me right now

Kali your breath is hot in my ear.