Tuesday, May 12, 2009

sticking up for myself...


I am writing about this today in celebration.


So many good things have happened as a consequence of me sticking up for myself.


I am in a tremendously good place...on the outside and on the inside...


and this is huge, because i have an ancesteral heritage of people who are good at facade - so i often do the outside well...


but the inside was left to go to wrack and ruin (what is wrack anyway... an interesting word of the week???)


So lately i have begun to say what i want.


I have begun to ask for stuff for me.


I have started to speak my truth.


And i have been heard.


Whether it is by my lovely husband, my friends, the benevolent universe....


I am being answered in a;


"Yes! Sure Thing! No Sweat! How about more???" kinda fashion.


and it becomes easier to back myself when i have had success at backing myself...


Example:


Daughter 1 is constantly stressed by confronting Grumpy teacher. She has a problem with having to do something at the moment which everyone has to do but she doesn't get any benefit from...


Today i faced grumpy teacher - stood up to her, didn't cave when she gave me reasons why not... and stuck to what i see as supporting my daughter.


It wasn't hard or mean. I did find myself worrying about her feelings but then the voice that is being nurtured by asking for what i want said; " Just worry about what you know your daughter needs and let GT's feelings be hers".


And i did.


And they were.


And i came out with a good outcome and integrity.


And that is the key


When i give up what i want and need and believe in for others i swamp my integrity.


I belittle myself. And then who do i get to be resentful of???... Well i have tried off loading it on many others but actually it mostly falls on my lap.


And resenting yourself eats your soul.


Enough of eating my soul


Enough of putting my soul's callings aside.


I back myself


And i hear "yes!" in return

1 comment:

  1. "resenting yourself eats your soul"

    OMG-you are so, so right and wise. thank you for this post-I smiled big...so happy for you!

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