the tyranny of being right

i am coming to see how the tyranny of being right has been such a force in my life

and such a waste

my relentless drive to do the right thing,

be in the right,

know the right things,

be in the right place,

have the right thing to say,

be right in the fight,

be on the side of right,

know the right people

but constantly answering myself

"Am i right?"

was sometimes my only solace

i could be lonely and heartsore and unhappy

but right was such a comfort

and now i wonder whether it really was...

or was this urge to be right just another "protective" layer (protecting me from what??? change? connection? flexibility?)

and was this protection actually harming me - keeping me rigid and unwavering.

isn't grace the fluidity and effortlessness of being...

who am i to say what is right...

i can say what is right for me ( only for right now, because that to may need to move)

but i cannot say what is right for anyone else

wars have been always about both sides thinking they are right

and the desperate need to prove we are right is separating us not healing...

i might try giving it up

would that be the right thing to do?