it's the little things

like seeing the beauty in a flower

having my daughter climb into bed with me

playing the yellow car game

the cat calling out to find me

our comfortable bed

being able to see green out my window

fresh food in the fridge

veges in the garden

an unexpected cuddle

a text message from a friend being cheeky

it's the little things that make the world seem magical to me
particularly after the earthquake when i know there are many people who had time to consider what they would miss... and never got the chance to see them again....

and i intend to suck every bit of juice out of those little things that i can...

she is safe

i just heard from Sue

she and her family have left Christchurch for Auckland

her partner and their foster child were in the centre of the city and only made it home that night

she said she compulsively rubbed the heart necklace i made her while she was waiting to hear from her man

she is safe

I am so so so grateful

this is my friends' business
thriving deli/cafe/cooking school

it has to be demolished

they can't even go in to rescue stock

right now they are grateful that everyone made it out unhurt

but not unscathed

this will be a scar that everyone carries on their heart

everyone in this tiny community knows the guy who was crushed by a rock fall walking home over the hills to get to his young family

everyone is aware of the army patrolling the streets to stop looting

everyone will feel that frisson of fear when a large truck drives past rattling the ground

and as a bystander i feel this deep sense of unease, constantly close to tears, obsessively checking my emails to see if Sue has been in touch (not yet)... i feel useless and frivilous when i find myself laughing

but then Graeme and Jenny, who own Ground, are so filled with gratitude that they all made it out in one peice, that they have life and each other and their friends, that cherishing laughter and the joy of seeing an inch worm waving around on a flower and being covered in paint seem to be keeping the faith with the things that truely count

so inspite of the horror i will honour the joy in life, because i can and because what you focus on expands

and i so want for people to be reimmersed in love and not fear

Green

the colour of healing

the colour of deep breaths

the colour of dissolving into the magic of the planet

the colour of transformation

seeing the green flash

sorry i didn't get a picture

but this night, this sunset, on a beach at Punakaiki we saw the green flash

just as the sun hits the sea on a clear night

there is a green flash

and whoever sees it can never disbeleive magic again

an absolute high

3 hours in the saddle

riding a horse described as a bit green

through some of the most beautiful country in the world - clean roundstone rivers, bird laden bush

reassuring my horsemad daughter who was riding in an unfenced area for the first time in her life ... and got scared

and then found her courage

with a canter home along the beach

i was ecstatic - can you tell?

and i felt a part of me fill up that had been empty for a long, long while....

pathways

sometimes it would be nice to know where you are going

to know exactly what was waiting for you at the end

pipe, slippers, faithful dog with the paper....

but i am kind of glad that each step i take is a step into a partially unknown future

i trust that i am loved, that i am safe, that i am capable

and that no matter where i am i am at home inside myself

making a face

i made this on the beach in Greymouth

art is flowing through me like a river

i see images that capture my heart everywhere

most days i go out with paint on my arms and hands

i manipulate dishes and utensils into patterns

and the natural world fills me up

on this beach with wild wilfull sea

and rocks and stones, shaken from their underground wombs by earthquakes and landslides, smoothed by glaciers and rivers and finally the tumbling of the sea, felt like they greeted my hands,

driftwood, long ago living and breathing, adrift from its' anchored in the earth beginnings transformed into tree bones drying in the sun

i could feel some of them holding their breath waiting to be placed

others saying NO in a very definite fashion

and this wild woman appeared under my hands

and stared back at me

asking where she was in my heart...

do i know the answer?

vessels

these are the vessels that were used in gold production

the are relics of a time past


they have withstood heat and constant use

they would have been eagerly watched as they held the precious gold safe

and as they sit gathering dust in the tiny town of Blackpoint i see them as beautiful simple and still full of life

and you know what...

I THINK WE ARE VESSELS MADE TO GO THROUGH THE FIRE, TO GET A LITTLE CHIPPED AND WORN.. BUT TO CARRY GOLD INSIDE US, TO BE PART OF THE PROCESS OF REFINING THAT GOLD AND OFFERING IT UP TO THE WORLD.

(i had to edit this post to add that thought... it came to me during my muesli this morning!)

making magic happen

today i am consumed with the idea of making magic happen

i think the world's true nature is magical

i think that underlying every living and inanimate thing is magic

and i love it when people make that visible

this letterbox was in a tiny place called Blackpoint. The first place in New Zealand to have electricity - because it generated it itself because it was a goldmining town

now only about 12 people live there

but we stopped there because Willow wanted a toilet stop. Then i saw this letter box and took a photo, then we noticed a sign to a museum and gold battery and we left 5 hours later filled with stories and gifts of ideas of things to do and my girls had a glimpse into the lives of my grandparents...

this beautiful quirky handmade with love and magic letterbox lead us on that journey - totally unexpected into the past and the future

so to whomever made it thank you

you have inspired me to make magic happen wherever i can because i can trust it to open doors that won't have otherwise been there