devastation

if nothing else i can see how important it is to not be distracted by pointless shit

if nothing else i can see how important it is to live the life you want now

if nothing else i can see how important it is to say i love you, to stop the woman in the supermarket who has good hair and tell her, to smile at a stranger, to wear the clothes that you love

if nothing else i can see how you need to listen to the whispers of your heart - not put them off or pretend they are not there

because without warning you may not be there at all

it's the little things

like seeing the beauty in a flower

having my daughter climb into bed with me

playing the yellow car game

the cat calling out to find me

our comfortable bed

being able to see green out my window

fresh food in the fridge

veges in the garden

an unexpected cuddle

a text message from a friend being cheeky

it's the little things that make the world seem magical to me
particularly after the earthquake when i know there are many people who had time to consider what they would miss... and never got the chance to see them again....

and i intend to suck every bit of juice out of those little things that i can...

she is safe

i just heard from Sue

she and her family have left Christchurch for Auckland

her partner and their foster child were in the centre of the city and only made it home that night

she said she compulsively rubbed the heart necklace i made her while she was waiting to hear from her man

she is safe

I am so so so grateful

this is my friends' business
thriving deli/cafe/cooking school

it has to be demolished

they can't even go in to rescue stock

right now they are grateful that everyone made it out unhurt

but not unscathed

this will be a scar that everyone carries on their heart

everyone in this tiny community knows the guy who was crushed by a rock fall walking home over the hills to get to his young family

everyone is aware of the army patrolling the streets to stop looting

everyone will feel that frisson of fear when a large truck drives past rattling the ground

and as a bystander i feel this deep sense of unease, constantly close to tears, obsessively checking my emails to see if Sue has been in touch (not yet)... i feel useless and frivilous when i find myself laughing

but then Graeme and Jenny, who own Ground, are so filled with gratitude that they all made it out in one peice, that they have life and each other and their friends, that cherishing laughter and the joy of seeing an inch worm waving around on a flower and being covered in paint seem to be keeping the faith with the things that truely count

so inspite of the horror i will honour the joy in life, because i can and because what you focus on expands

and i so want for people to be reimmersed in love and not fear