reverb10 avoidance

Author: Jake Nickell
The Threadless Book
@skaw
Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

i think all i should have done but didn't was stand up for myself.

I seemingly let shit slide that in retrospect i could have dealt with in a more self respecting manner.

i get scared about what the person i need to talk to would think, how they might get hurt, and most sadly whether i even have the right to say when something offends me.


i will speak up for myself instead of letting that need to honour myself and my feelings leak out in less than gracious ways.

a week of blech

(where i should be - that is the poodle rolling in the sand in the foreground btw)

i have been making this poor lap top do overtime

i have been here and there on the internet... caught in the worldwideweb like a fly

and i am buzzing in circles on my back

slower and slower

the gaps in between lengthening.....

i have been sick - just a flu thing... lethargy factor is at 90% - and i find this a highly distracting place to be...

disengaging me from my bleak attitude, the sense that i am out of my rightful place in the universe... that i am getting older by the day and the shining future i saw ahead of me as a young woman has drifted by in this haze of mediocrity...

i don't want to meditate, or write gratitude lists, or eat well.

i sit here, cantankerous and touchy, tearful and feeble

and check my emails one more time...