squeezing through the pigeon hole

(the photo is of a transformation arrow i made releasing old patterns i no longer wanted in my life - from my GoddessLeonie course - www.goddessleonie.com)

I want to start with a little story.





It is about a girl who wanted to save the world. Who felt immense responsibility about always doing the right thing. Who felt other's pain. Who wanted to make a difference. Whose family thought it was funny the way she cried at the animals in the pound who were due for euthansia or the marlin that was caught for "sport".





This girl decided, at 16, to become a vegetarian.
She beleived that animals were sentinent and had spirits and didn't want anyone else to take on the responsibility for their death.
If she had to eat meat (flesh of any kind - including sea food and fish...) then she'd dispatch it herself offering gratitude and taking on the debt of it's life....





It kind of became a centre point to how she saw herself, moral, responsible, kind, crusading.





She felt a little self righteous about it all.





and now that girl is 44.





that was 28 years ago. (TWENTYBLOODYEIGHT!)





And now the womanthatwasthatgirl is listening to whispers about how her body may need to eat meat. Which was reinforced (in a very loving and non judgemental way) by her accupunturist - she went with exhaustion and forgetfulness....





Bob suggested it was time to let go of that picture of myself,(ok it is me i am talking about !) time to release that lovingly, that rigidity to fall away...





and Bob the accupuncturist gifted me this poem by St Terese of Aquila

" To enter into the world within

Love must be awakened.

For Awaken Love in us

Let go Let be

Be still in Gentle Peace

Be aware of opposites

Learn mindfulness and forgetfulness"

To me this means to truely love you need to release, be all about being and not doing, and be present in love.





Is holding onto the doctrine i set for myself all those years ago


serving me? Is it loving? Is it an action full of love or an action full of sound?





Am i finding the middle ground?





Am i open to change





and if i am what possibilities await me?





This is the second time this month i have been called to relenquish one of my big stands (the other being how important it was for me to prove how terrible my relationship with my mother was) and the release of that as an archetype, a way of constantly being, is just incredibly loving and liberating...





Could this be something else to jettison gladly?





How would the world look through non vegetarian eyes???