reverb 10 trying stuff AND healing

Author: Kaileen Elise
kaileenelise.com
@kaileenelise

Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?

next year i want to try to do more markets with my silver, maybe sell them in some shops

next year i want to do Mystele's work... it speaks to me so richly and it feels like it is waiting for me

next year i want to dive into deep - completely committed and wholy present to it

i don't think there was really anything i wanted to try in 2010 that i didn't - of course i would've loved to have travelled - pretty much anywhere but particularly to South Africa

so if the chance came up in 2011 that would be grand

but the things i wanted to try and did were BIG and THE TRIBE and they have been life changingly amazing - i have grown, i have experimented, i have felt safe and i have been amazed - DAMN FINE OUTCOME ALL ROUND REALLY!!!

i also wanted to do a market with my silver work and that felt TRIUMPHANT!

Author: Leoni Allan
2011 Creating Your Goddess Year
@GoddessLeoni

Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

AND YOU KNOW WHAT??

The things i tried, that were the whispers of my heart - they healed me

i moved closer to my truest self, my heart's yearnings and that made me feel more myself and less inadequate trying to fit into some other person's mould of how life should be..

of course i can never be anything other than who i am

and i feel like i took a big step closer to me this year

and that is the ultimate healing

(i can hear my heavenly helpers cheering as i say this - and wiping their brows a bit - Yes guys, i have finally got it!)

and at the core of this healing is love

if i love myself and my dreams i am happier and more full of love, which i can share and spread around with glee because there is always more being generated if i am filling my life with love by following my hearts desires

it is the elixer of life

Doing it hard

there was a time in my life where i felt like doing it hard was the only worthy way

i have good protestant working class bones

My Grandad left school when he was 13 to go down the coalmines. He had to walk miles to school or share the horse with one of his 12 brothers and sisters.

I learned about working hard for good things from him.

I always made the choice that was more difficult because somehow that seemed more worthy.

If i had to work hard at something, take the more difficult path it would be more valuable.

This was true with everything, work choices, friendships,money, health... EVERYTHING.

And then one day i decided to try another way.

I was exhausted, unhappy, weighed down and harried.

I decided to go to a local osteopath who works with stored memory.

Previously when i went to see Ben, I would want to know every little detail of what he was doing. I would pour over everything, dissect it, imagine scenarios, get mad all over again...in other words, work hard at it.

This time though, I went to Ben and said "There is old shit there and i want it gone. If i don't need to know about it i don't want to i just want it gone"

And releasing myself from the responsibility of having to do that hard work (and the mirale that is Ben Evans!) started a pattern.

I have embraced the possibility that i can take the easier choice and it will be ok.

I find myself in abundance.

I find myself, more and more living the life i want.

I see ease and grace in more of my relationships.

I see ease in my health choices - i am able to listen to my body and my intuition instead of shoulds...

I have learned that sometimes hard is not always good.

guilt for all the good

(my abundance made manifest in the form of marmite and butter toast made for me this morning by my beautiful 9 year old)


sometimes i feel guilt for all the good in my life



my abundance, my health, my wonderful family, my body, my mind, my creativity, my chances, my changes, where i live, my friends, my connection to spirit, the way the universe showers love on me, the way life opens up for me...



guilt



it is not always uppermost, but it is there like some wormy larvae digging away at the foundation i build, undermining, consuming...

i have a blessed life (and God/Goddess/All that Is knows i am not tempting fate here)

but i know so many who aren't

i had just come back from the beach after having spent 3 days connected to my girls, seeing them happy and grounded for the first time in ages

and i went to town to buy Willow her first ever pencil case (she's a middle school girl this year) and met an acquaintance whose beloved husband (high school sweetheart) committed suicide this year,
and we spoke about a mutual acquaintance whose son has been struggling with cancer..

then i came home and visited my friend E whose marriage fell apart and her son is in his 2nd year of chemo and whose #%*** ex husband wants to sell the house from under her and whose attempts to resurrect her career are going nowhere

and we heard from another friend who sounds like he has a serious health issue

You get the picture...

and then the worms started munching a bit louder

and i find myself looking around at all the blessings so evident in my life and i wonder how did this happen to me?

I want to share my blessings with them

God knows i want to give E the $30K it would take to buy%#@*** out of the house and heal like Maeve and take away all that crappy cancer and hold J's heart to empty it of some of the agony and fill it with the love i know her husband still carries for her...

but i sit here and hear the worms instead

maybe it is my place to live in abundance and to spread that energy to fill the planet with the sense of possibility and the knowledge that this really is out there for everyone...

maybe