Tuesday, October 20, 2009

signposts


i have been having a bit of a healing crisis of late... a long slow bubbling of something in me that is making me sit still and rest


and cry with the exhaustion


but i am not a constant blur of action or thoughts or busy


i am sitting


and i am finding that my children and coming and laying on me


i am finding that i am looking at the green out the window


i am finding i am absorbing and not always reflecting the beauty around me


as i was driving to the doctors' rooms yesterday i was in a turmoil


i was aware that i feel like part of me is dissolving and that is slightly scary - unnerving more i think... (*and i am aware of the lurk of cancer in the people around me and want to ward that spectre off and my body is so out of kilter that i keep thinking of big things...*)
but what if the big thing is so amazing - a change so big that my body needs time to prepare and this is preparation
and as i was thinking about this - trying this thought on for size, i drove over Station Road hill, where my beloved grandparents lived and loved me all the days of my childhood
and there was a rainbow
right down flat over the road
and i got to drive through it...
hows that for a magic sign post?

4 comments:

  1. I think it's beautiful!!

    Holding your hand all the way ~~~

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  2. Definitely a sign from your beloved grandparents because rainbows bridge the earth and heaven and are a message of hope. Also, as they contain all the colours of the spectrum, they're seen as lucky.

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  3. That is so beautiful! Great post, full of raw emotion -- amazing you could post all of that. What courage. I'm sending you gentle restorative energy.

    I love that your children come and lay on you. That's got to be healing :)

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  4. My prescription:

    Look for more loving signposts, they are everywhere.

    Spend lots of time in "child piles", they are healing for everyone.

    Love to you today :)

    ReplyDelete