Tuesday, October 20, 2009


i have been having a bit of a healing crisis of late... a long slow bubbling of something in me that is making me sit still and rest

and cry with the exhaustion

but i am not a constant blur of action or thoughts or busy

i am sitting

and i am finding that my children and coming and laying on me

i am finding that i am looking at the green out the window

i am finding i am absorbing and not always reflecting the beauty around me

as i was driving to the doctors' rooms yesterday i was in a turmoil

i was aware that i feel like part of me is dissolving and that is slightly scary - unnerving more i think... (*and i am aware of the lurk of cancer in the people around me and want to ward that spectre off and my body is so out of kilter that i keep thinking of big things...*)
but what if the big thing is so amazing - a change so big that my body needs time to prepare and this is preparation
and as i was thinking about this - trying this thought on for size, i drove over Station Road hill, where my beloved grandparents lived and loved me all the days of my childhood
and there was a rainbow
right down flat over the road
and i got to drive through it...
hows that for a magic sign post?


  1. I think it's beautiful!!

    Holding your hand all the way ~~~

  2. Definitely a sign from your beloved grandparents because rainbows bridge the earth and heaven and are a message of hope. Also, as they contain all the colours of the spectrum, they're seen as lucky.

  3. That is so beautiful! Great post, full of raw emotion -- amazing you could post all of that. What courage. I'm sending you gentle restorative energy.

    I love that your children come and lay on you. That's got to be healing :)

  4. My prescription:

    Look for more loving signposts, they are everywhere.

    Spend lots of time in "child piles", they are healing for everyone.

    Love to you today :)