The oil (bad language sorry people!)

(i read this morning about a whale found dead in the Gulf)

I am in overwhelm about the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico

I die a little each time i read articles like this

or see the images of animals covered with oil, knowing that they stand to die despite any efforts by the volunteers cleaning them up, because they have ingested too much of the toxic oil already

or think about the people cleaning up who are likely to suffer health problems as a result

and then i think about Nigeria and how they have been subjected to blatant disregard in the way oil companies have dealt with spill after leak for decades More oil is spilt each year in Nigeria than in this catastrophe in the Gulf.

and i get friggin angry

i hate being a member of a human species that can be so greedy for cheap consumption that they are prepared to put the wellbeing of entire ecosystems -including other humans at risk - all for the sake of money.

and then i read that the new zealand government have granted concessions to drill 5kms off our pristine coastline

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

i feel powerless to communicate just how wrong i think it is

just how sorry i am

just how i wish we could go back

but then i drive a car i am pleased to get cheaper petrol for

i use plastic and although i am appalled at the amount of plastic i throw away i still use it...

i am part of the problem

and then i am ashamed

o i know i didn't ask them to cut all those corners on the well and that i would have argued against it (i hope) if i was in the board room....but i am part of a culture that values oil

and sitting here in New Zealand i feel powerless to help clean up the mess that to some extent i am responsible for

but last night i went to a singing meditation and we sang to Yamaya - a sea Goddess, acknowledging the harm the sea has suffered, acknowledging our anguish...

i added a prayer that we would all treat mother earth as if she were our own beloved body (maybe we already do but we are too busy smoking and taking drugs and overworking that body....)

and yet in the middle of our circle there were paraffin candles burning....we had all driven to get there....

our entire lives are so entwined with the bloody stuff that i felt even more furious...

then i saw that anger as a parallel to the oil...

like that the oil is a metaphor for the subterreanean vitriole that we try not to acknowledge, that is explosive, combustible

that unless we protect that forcefull flow, unless we maintain the pathways to get the oil of anger out, that oil is going to spill out and poison us.....

i think we are all inextricably part of the same whole

what is done to one is done to all

and until we take responsibility and live our lives acknowledging our impact and our connectedness we will cut corners and toxic shit will spill where it will