INTERNATIONAL GREMLIN TREATY 2011.
Between Jane Louise Cunningham and her Gremlin.
We the undersigned hereby agree to:
1. At the onset of fear:
a. Check in together BEFORE acting.
b. If Jane says it is OK, said Gremlin goes off attack mode and onto support mode.
c. Support mode involves, but is not limited to the following: kind words, comforting activities, encouragement etc.
d. There are pompoms available whilst in support mode that said Gremlin is able to avail himself of at anytime.
e. If Jane says fear is valid Gremlin to use kindness as his major weapon.
2. At Cessation of fear:
a. Jane and Gremlin are to be kind to each other.
Jane Louise Cunningham Gremlin
please feel free to copy and make peace with your own gremlin - it is doing wonders for Homeland security in my life!
i am in the amazing position of being blessed with the perfect teaching at the perfect time.
or maybe i should say that i am blessed with the awareness that i always have the perfect teaching at the perfect time but often i am too stubborn/scared/in denial to see it.
I am in the process of incubating a very exciting creative dream and am working through this with the help of the amazing Andrea
i have been having all kinds of fears and worries and nebulous bad feelings scratching on my door and that is a bad thing for me.... makes me feel like i should step away from my dream. Makes me think there is danger ahead.
but the work that Andrea has made us do at the very start of the creative journalling course sets us up to look into that and what i have found is the little fulla up the top there....
my inner saboteur is a little muscley feirce looking green dude, horns, long arms, feirce.
Enough to put a good woman into reverse.
But i have found out all he wants to do is protect me. When he smells fear he rushes in to take me away - save me from the scary thing AT ALL COSTS!
Even when the fear is based on good things like;
"i have never done this before."
"I am about to step into my dream - this is big and new."
"i am going to give up the stuff i have learned about myself and take on something new."
He just wants to help.
But in making me back away from the situation that makes me a bit scared he hurts me.
If i back away from the things that challenge me i never grow, i never let good new things in. I turn away from new possibilities because they are different from what i already know (some of which makes me desperately unhappy but i know it so i understand it so it doesn't scare me).
so i chatted with my inner saboteur and we have established a treaty, there has been a document created and everything -
i now solemnly promise to reassure the gremlin each time i am scared and ok, so that he will rest at ease and i can get on with changing my life for the better.
He can still step in when i am scared for good reason (katipo in the toilet, being offered my mother's shepards pie etc)
But he is to stand down when the ok signal is recieved. It makes him a bit sad because he felt so important, but i will let him see how much better things are without him diving in with the selfesteemwhackingstick everytime i experience fear.
and then he and i can get on with creating a better life.
Often feeling the prickles of sweat in my right armpit (only one, yes i know it is weird.)
Often feeling my thoughts speed up.
Often hearing the not-good-enough chorus (kind of like the welsh boys choir only a lot less sweet and melodic) burst into their caustic song.
I fear a lot of things, not being enough and not being worthy are usually at the bottom of those fears...
worthiness and enoughness are the foundation of that haunte house of my heart, the cornerstones of the bad feelings that well up.
what if i saw them as the underpinnings of something else.
What if unworthiness and not-enoughness were the signals from my wisest self that i was giving away my power, that i was cheating myself from a chance to be fully and truely present and able to be in my true gifts
what if the sweaty righty, the racing thoughts, the song of the choir of inner meanness were actually all signposts, neon lights, sirens that i needed to stop.
That i needed to step back into myself.
that i needed to check whether the power was leaking/pouring out of me, or offered with true love (self love and love for another)
what if all my fears were about checking in with myself and being true
what if all my fears were just signals to be kind to myself
what if i could open the trapdoor in my heart and instead of fear, power would come out, in all her glorious, splendid, benenevolent wonder.
I have been doing an amazing course with Queen Dani- yes she is real royalty, yes she has been sent to me by the benificent Universe as a sign that magic is alive and breathing, yes she fills me up and nourishes me in a way that i feel like i have been hungry for for a long, long time...
i can't recommend the course highly enough - just go here and see for yourself
the part i worked on yesterday was my personal manifesto - kind of like the rulebook for life that i wished i had had right from the beginning... but here it is, guidelines for a good life as designed and decided by me...
MY PERSONAL MANIFESTO
Be kind to yourself and then to others. Know you are a spark of the divine. ENJOY your time on this planet. Gasp at beauty and then speak it. Don’t puff up or belittle, just be. Be in integrity. Create from your heart – messily, imperfectly, wildly, often, magically. Hear those whispers and act on them. Trust that the world needs what you have to offer. Refill often. Laugh from your belly. Seek solace. Check in with yourself. Listen to the little one, she knows. Don’t deny yourself. Listen to your angels, they are right there. Keep your heart open. Be mindful of what you do with your precious gems. Speak what you know to be true. Drink in the things that nurture you. Just try. Cry when you need to. Don’t dumb it down. Listen with your heart. Make beauty. Trust your gut. Gather things that fill you up. See yourself. Do your work. Listen to your body – it knows stuff. Take those chances, they are there for a reason. Change is your friend. So is licorice. Eat what you love. Wear what you love. Be what you love. You are allowed wonderful. You deserve great things. Acknowledge the sacred in all that you encounter. Affirm what you want. Tell your story. Honour your truth. Take the counsel of those you trust, including stones and trees. Hug your self each day, that body, that heart, that spirit, they are bloody good. Say Fuck when you need to, Yay when you need to, sing when you need to, say yes when you need to and no when you need to. Remember to breathe.
Remember your MAGNIFICENCE.
Here are Julia's beautiful words - you can find her here
What if, starting in this right now moment, you didn't have to listen anymore
to old worn out voices that tell you that something needs to change before you can drop into your truest, most authentically precious and unique self?
What if you could drop it all, every single limiting thought and belief, every single should and shouldn’t that keeps you small and paralyzed with fear?
What if you could sink deeper into that sacred inside space, to the space that knows nothing of bounds and sees only possibility and openness--where the pulse quickens, the heart opens, and the view is expansive and full of possibility?
What if you trusted with absolute certainty that you are cherished and beautiful and whole exactly as you are, if you embraced every single bit of your beautiful self?
What if you stopped judging what might appear as faults and found the gifts instead?
What if you knew that all that you’ve been looking for, all you’ve ever wanted is resting patiently inside of you?
What if the only question you ever needed to ask is what would love do now? And you listened, with your deepest parts, for the answer.
What if you didn't have to know how but simply followed every sacred whispering of inspiration, one moment at a time. Just one. And that you trusted, absolutely, that this baby step would lead you to the next and the next and the next
What if you knew that nothing is by accident, that it’s all happening for you not to you
What if you knew that love is the only power you need to listen to, ever, and that you said yes to It again and again and again
***We wholeheartedly invite you on this journey of losing our little minds, of allowing the light in and out, of trusting your courageous hearts to lead the way. Starting today. Starting right now. It’s time.
The colour of the sky *the ocean * Elizabeth and Maeve * people who reach beyond the ordinary * genuine generosity *good food * watching things grow * the miracle of birth *a woman's power *tenderness in all its forms * the cycle of life * courage * people with a sense of fun * compassion * beautiful jewellery * art that is made from the heart - without a view to the purchaser or the market but made because it has to come *Clarissa Pincola Estes * grace
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS THESE ARE MORETHINGSTHATITHINK
i welcome you with warmth and love to the thoughts that grab me .... and the way they come out of my fingers when i make the time in my day as a mother and artist and poodle walker to write them down.....