Thursday, March 11, 2010

worthiness

(this is me two days ago - i tried this and still i think i am unworthy... holy crap what will it take???)



i love Brene Brown





(the magnificent midwife to the words on her blog ordinary courage and author of books that i am saving up to buy ...here's a link to her latest post... http://ordinarycourage.com/)





i love her in that way that means i carry a little bit of her in my head and ponder over her words often during my day, but if i ever got to meet her i would look at my shoes (she lives in a cold place so i would be wearing shoes) and blush and say UMMM alot...





i have to say that before i go any further and get told off for bias...





and any of you who have read this blog to any degree know i have a thing or two to say about deserving, about self worth, about being enough....





and this week Brene, to celebrate the release of her new DVD "the hustle for worthiness" she is challenging encouraging us to write about worthiness





about being enough





and i was thinking that enough always has a bad connotation in my life as in





"That's enough " (said in a grumpy exasperated mother/teacher voice - usually in relation to frivolity or noise or general non seriousness)





or "that'll be enough" (which is immediately telling me that i haven't given ample... just that mediocre measure of the minimum)





being enough is never an overflowing, abundant, juicy word...

it is mingy and tight and dry in your mouth...





it is always something to over-reach





something to aim past





as if perfectionism and the drive to give ourselves all ulcers with constantly trying to be more than we are is something to be proud of...





well fuck it





enough is enough





(hee hee had to throw that in there)





i am going to reclaim the word ENOUGH





i am going to follow that honourable tradition of reclaiming sullied words - (think GAY think BLACK)

I am going to wear enough proudly

i might even make a tshirt

right now, if i am enough- then i am worthy... no waiting til i get some magical approval from outside me for my efforts at being more... right now i am enough...

do you hear the doors opening??

do you hear the sphincters unclenching???

do you hear the big sigh from deep within my chest???

i do

(and if you want a tshirt i am seriously thinking about it!)

14 comments:

  1. don't even get me started on worthwhile. my 2009 word was "enough". said with the right intention, it is like a relaxing, much-needed exhale. thought about keeping it for another year, but then decided to go with JustBecause as my word for 2010.

    (OMG - walking a REAL rightrope?????)

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  2. Wonderful posts ~ yours & Brene's...

    I want me a T shirt!!!!!!!!!!!! One that says "I AM enough"!!

    {{{}}}

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  3. Fantastic blog, my friend.
    Love the green, too.
    Yes to the T-shirt!

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  4. OMG. And you like Lucinda Williams.

    Please.

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  5. Thanks for reclaiming a word that's been bandied about in some unkind ways. Enough really is enough, isn't it?

    Most def want the T-shirt--or a tank top!

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  6. WOW this is amazing a new reader old friends and two of my heros...

    there is something in this worthiness mojo!!!

    :-)

    and the tshirt is drying off after layer number 1! photos to follow!

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  7. "enough" said as a manta, a prayer, an exhalation, a statement, a declaration, an affirmation.

    enough....
    enough!!!!!

    enough.

    I loved this post - and anxiously await the tee shirt!!

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  8. and now a visit from Royalty!! i am enough.....

    this feels goooood

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  9. Oh honey! You are more than worthy and more than enough. But I well know the shitty unworthy terrain. It's led me to do (and not do) so many things.
    Can I just say how glad I am that you admitted to carrying a little Brene in your head? Because DUDE, so do I! Brene doesn't know it but she and I have frequent conversations. She has probably saved my life from ruin in recent times. This Week of Worthiness has almost been enough to make me start a blog so I can be a part of something bigger than my bedroom. Almost. Any other week, I probably would have done it. Maybe I think grieving people have nothing worthy to say, being too busy moping about? I suspect I do believe that. Oh. Holy epiphany, batman. I need to write but I'm here crying instead.
    Bless you, Jane. I love you.
    ♥ Meg

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  10. P.S: A hero is a beautiful thing. It's a pity we don't look up to more of them. You know, REAL life heroes. Just look at the women here, for instance. Yes, indeedy-doo. We're surrounded! Ms Faerian, you are my Hero Of The Worthiness Week.
    ♥ Meg

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  11. I am glad you are taking back the word enough
    Maybe we all should reclaim words that have
    had some negative implication and I definitely want a Tshirt!

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  12. i would totally buy that t-shirt :)

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  13. Here's one to add to your 'enough' list, Jane. My late mother-in-law had an expression -'enough is as good as a feast'

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