Friday, July 31, 2009


when i grow up i want to be authentic

i really aim for authenticity in my life

it is something i have had to learn from scratch because we were well trained in it's opposite in my family....

put on a brave face,

smile when you want to scream,

sure, talk behind someone's back but don't say what you really think...

don't-stand-in-your-truth- because-that-will-stand-on-someone's-toes-and-then-they-won't-like-you-and-there-is- nothing-worse-than-that...

and now when i aim to speak my truth (and i do aim for that while taking respect and courtesy into account)

i often get it wrong

i often find that i am in situations where my truth hurts someone

is that because i am inherantly bad? (that is the ugliest voice i hear in my head and i will acknowledge it and let it float on by because i don't want to own it...)

is it that i am out of step with the people around me...and that my truth sounds clattery in their ears?

is it that i hold the belief that i always will hurt someone when i tell my truth?

i think i might just be manifesting that belief...

i get worried about how i will come across, defensive and a bit angry and then i speak my truth with all that in the mix...

i want to change that thought... i am now manifesting this...

i speak my truth and it is honoured and well recieved.


  1. beautiful.
    this can be such a prickly path. i see you walking it with grace.

  2. thankyou - you are one authentic woman i admire ABC - you speak your truth with courage and kindness....big love

  3. your truth is not bad. NOT BAD. I'm learning-slowly and in small doses that it's okay if someone doesn't feel good about my truth. I know that sounds weird (I was raised in a grin and bear it family too) but really, being hurt is not the end of the world. You know? We feel like it is. But I get hurt all the time and then process it or talk about it or go back and ask the person questions about it and healing happens. All the time.

    and I just realized I'd rather risk a little bit of the healable kind of hurt than keep stuffing down toxic resentment.

    I fully support you on your path to authenticity.

  4. thankyou Brandi.... i read all these inspiring quotes about how i need to put my truth out there in the universe to be truely alive etc etc...

    but it is hearing stories like the one you just told me - about the pay off of "healable" hurts vs toxic resentment which make my soul nod it's head and my heart feel lighter

    thankyou Brandibutter you are delicious