authenticity

when i grow up i want to be authentic

i really aim for authenticity in my life

it is something i have had to learn from scratch because we were well trained in it's opposite in my family....

put on a brave face,

smile when you want to scream,

sure, talk behind someone's back but don't say what you really think...

don't-stand-in-your-truth- because-that-will-stand-on-someone's-toes-and-then-they-won't-like-you-and-there-is- nothing-worse-than-that...

and now when i aim to speak my truth (and i do aim for that while taking respect and courtesy into account)

i often get it wrong

i often find that i am in situations where my truth hurts someone

is that because i am inherantly bad? (that is the ugliest voice i hear in my head and i will acknowledge it and let it float on by because i don't want to own it...)

is it that i am out of step with the people around me...and that my truth sounds clattery in their ears?

is it that i hold the belief that i always will hurt someone when i tell my truth?

i think i might just be manifesting that belief...

i get worried about how i will come across, defensive and a bit angry and then i speak my truth with all that in the mix...

i want to change that thought... i am now manifesting this...

i speak my truth and it is honoured and well recieved.