Wednesday, May 12, 2010


This month i have:

Watching my father almost die and spend 3 weeks being confused and scared, spectre of a rest home knocking at his door. (THANK THE GODDESS I TOOK HIM HOME TODAY!)

Daily contact with my mother who is corrosive to my heart

family meetings, negotiations, shouting matches

having to hold boundaries, avoid damage, ask for help

2 girls feeling the strain and not knowing why they feel tired, grumpy, scared...

A family wedding that i just couldn't be fully present for (which i got bad marks for - judges score cards- 3, 2.5, 3)

Health scares - one passing fleetingly, the other (boob issues) looming


stinky pits

no time to create

reaching 45

i have been down deep

like a diver who goes down meters into the ocean

the pressure around me has been immense

as i sit on this borrowed computer i think about decompression

(I have a friend who dives on oil rigs in the North Sea)


• noun 1 reduction in air pressure. 2 the process of decompressing.

i need to take time in my decompression chamber (ie: studio, bed, bath, beauty therapist, basking in the love of friends)

because i am going to avoid

decompression sickness

• noun a serious condition that results when too rapid decompression causes nitrogen bubbles to form in the tissues of the body.

at all costs

i love my life and i want to be well


  1. You really do need to decompress - thats an excellent analygy for what you are going through!
    I hope you find time and the head space to work on yourself, still sending you love and strength,
    Felicia x

  2. Woah. That's a lot for anyone to take on, honey. The family dynamic crap is so wearing. But I'm so bloody happy your sweet Dad is home now. Here's to a slow, steady and soulful decompression. Love to you ♡

  3. Life throws us such tough challenges at times and I'm sending you a cloak of Love and Protection as you decompress. Very happy that you took your Dad home.

  4. Love your blogs (all 3)

    Glad we met up!