Sunday, October 10, 2010

fu*king it up


when i am invested in a painting - like i am of the one with Maeve -

when i want to honour the subject

do justice to the feeling and the passion behind the work

then i get all tight.

i hear the shoulds and i listen to 'em.

and then i fu*k it up

i feel like running around in circles,screaming with my hands waving above my head


this is where i have to be truely fearless

and just step back up to the canvas...

when i paint what i am not invested in i always have a fall back position

"Oh, that is just for practise" "Oh, that is just an exercise" "Nah, i don't like that much"

it has no umbilical cord straight to my heart

but that is the kind of painting i am called to do

the kind with the umbilical cord straight to my heart

Not because i am a martyr (ok i am a recovering martyr)

but because in order for this work to mean something for me it has to be an expression of me.... it has to hold my soul in some form and reveal it to those who care to look...

and then their soul can be revealed too... and that revelation can be transmitted to another soul... and on it goes

this is the only way to heal the the world

and this is what i was born to do


  1. Your heart and soul are priceless and beautiful - they shine from your paintings.

  2. I'm no professional art critic or anything (thank God), but I love this painting. I love it. (BTW, I also love your blog and read it all the time. Thanks for being so fearless -- it inspires me to try to live the same way).

  3. thank you kind and lovely friends - your support and encouragement mean the world to me x