you know the kind where you hear an audible clunk inside yourself?
it centered around my constant need to be seen
which of course is part of the reason i come here
why i read your comments obsessively
why the kindness of your words fills my thirsty heart so deeply
i have desired the experience being seen for as long as i can remember
the times when i sang with gusto out of tune, danced badly but with passion, became sick,(particularly useful in my family of origin)performed, was the class clown, all of it was my desire to be seen
and in the middle of that desire to be seen was the need to be acknowledged
to define the reality of me
which i am unsure of without hearing about it from the mouth of others....
the sense of only really being real when i am seen through the eyes of others
but the down side to this means that i can only get nourishment outside myself as well - if i need soothing, redirection, dusting off, solace - all of it has to come from outside myself to be valid too...
so with the effort i have been making to soothe myself i was checking in when i remembered - looking inside myself to find out how I felt - and validating myself and being kind to myself whatever it was that i was feeling
and then the clunk
and it felt like just being in my skin was enough
AND as a consequence i feel like all i need to do here is share,
just open my heart further to my friends that come here
The colour of the sky *the ocean * Elizabeth and Maeve * people who reach beyond the ordinary * genuine generosity *good food * watching things grow * the miracle of birth *a woman's power *tenderness in all its forms * the cycle of life * courage * people with a sense of fun * compassion * beautiful jewellery * art that is made from the heart - without a view to the purchaser or the market but made because it has to come *Clarissa Pincola Estes * grace
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS THESE ARE MORETHINGSTHATITHINK
i welcome you with warmth and love to the thoughts that grab me .... and the way they come out of my fingers when i make the time in my day as a mother and artist and poodle walker to write them down.....