Sunday, September 4, 2011


This morning i was setting up the washing machine.
Should i wash it on a long cycle?
that much detergent or less?
Spin at 600 or 800?
and then i got to thinking about how every day we make a mind numbing number of decisions... some of them like the washing machine ones, trivial, unseen

some of them like the ones to turn into that gap between the oncoming cars on the road that turns out to be too small ...
or not listen to that little voice inside that says "NO"...
or the one that says "YES"....
or the decision to say those words or not....

those ones are big and lifechanging and often irrevocable.

And is there somewhere where the weight of these decisions, the constant scouring out of our decision making cup, that leaves us scraped and wounded?....

And is there a place in us desiring a sheild from the barrage of those decisions? A place where we just wish to rest and be and allow?

is there a place in us that is made to wake up knowing that the feilds need to be plowed today and the fruit gathered and the jars boiled for jam making and that is all we have to do?

is part of our twenty first century heart fatigue just the being worn away by the constant decision making? i can't decide.


  1. I read that on average, a person in today's world thinks and processes 60,000 thoughts per day. And that we process more information in one week than our ancestors (100 years ago)did in a year.

    "heart fatigue" - what great words to describe it.


  2. What to say to this?
    Decisions, decisions, decisions!!

  3. I think we suffer not because we have decisions to be made, but because we constantly second guess ourselves. I signed up for a meditation workshop with this "superstar" yoga teacher/philosopher and this is what he talked about: how we need to make a decision and then pour ourselves into that choice, letting the other option go. Be fully in what we do and choose ... I know I for one need practice with this!

    (and yes, I was expecting to learn some secret technique that would make me more deeply meditative and what I learned was so simple but so profoundly difficult. Here's to liberation from agonizing!