reverb10 Suzannah Conway's prompt

my brave goddess self from BIG


Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (please note i have a big girly crush on Suzannah Conway - she is brave and alive and creative and hormonal and funny and kind)

The wisest decision i made in 2010 wasn't a single epiphany like "I am going to leave my husband/run a marathon/be a buddhist nun"... although all of those flit through my mind from time to time

my decision was more like a leak of wonderful soaking into my pores

pores that were thirsty (almost to death)

pores that a lot of other things had opened sorrow, self doubt, emptiness, exploration, courage...

and the moisturiser that has cured my souls wrinkles is creativity



It began by discovering how much i wanted to do an art course when i did abc's 100 creative goals list.

So i (after much prevaricating and difficulty in stepping out and saying i wanted to spend hard earned money on something as ephemeral as an art course) bravely chose to do an art course on-line.

i did a Suzi Blu course - the Goddess and the Poet - how could i not do a course named that right? i learned much and explored a lot but mostly found how absorbing and addictive a pencil and paper and mark making can be....

and then i took another - not so good this time... i wanted to explore art that was fermenting in my gut not reproducing a facsimile of other's art...

then God pointed me towards Connie Hozvicka and the needle on my soul's compass went "TWANG"

it shivered

and stopped pointing straight at her

she asked for a bold committment to ourselves and to following up this process and because i am a good girl and i do what i am told

i made that committment

and of all the things i have done this year this has contributed, more than one other single thing, to the sense of increasing wholeness i am experiencing

i am learning to embrace mistakes, be alive to possibility, be curious, be less attatched to outcome, to pleasing others

and i get to fiddle away in my workspace and feel alive as often as i make time for it

and that is the single most wonderful thing i have done for myself in years